The Boyfriend

125HIn general one might think that it is a bad idea to write a blog post about an ex-boyfriend, and I would usually agree with that. However, in this case I will make an exception, because of the person that he is and the things I have learned along the way.

I preface this by saying that my husband has read this and has given me permission to post it. And the man in question has also agreed that I could share this with you. So you are safe to read on. Even though the majority of people who will first read this post will know exactly who I am talking about (my list of boyfriends is pretty short), for the purpose of this story, I shall call him “Steve.”

P.S. The picture above is not him. It just seemed like a good boyfriend picture. Ha!

It Was the 90’s

I grew up in the 90’s. The age of Beverly Hills 90210. And what was more important to a teenage girl than to have a boyfriend? At age 15 I set my sights on an unsuspecting chap from my youth group. He was funny and kind to everyone. He noticed me, which is important for a shy wallflower. We built a friendship, and then our dating relationship started – get this – with a note passed in youth group. That’s right. We were so mature!

He was a great boyfriend. He was kind, and honest, and respected me. He loved God and wanted to be a pastor when he grew up. I wanted to marry a pastor, so it seemed to make sense that we would be together forever. But in perfect 90210 fashion, I was a little too emotional and clingy and manipulative, so we broke up and for the first time my heart was broken.

Our youth group was not large, so we had to stay civil to one another. But Steve’s kindness and open heart made it possible for me to truly call him friend. And then for the next few years, about once a year, we would try the dating thing again. My brother would just roll his eyes and say, “Again??”

One of the coolest things about Steve was that he wanted a tattoo. Oh yeah, he was a “bad boy.” His mom was totally against it, but when he was 18 he went out and got that tattoo. And then he showed his mom. The tattoo was of a robin with ruby slippers and Proverbs 31:28 (“Her children arise and call her blessed”)… in honor of his mom. Yeah, bad to the core, that one. Rebel. A rebel who loved and cherished his mom.

A Good Friend

boyfriend (2)

Wedding Shenanigans

It became apparent that Steve was not, in fact, the person I was going to marry. But we still remained good friends. We worked together in several contexts. And when I fell for the tall dark and handsome Romanian who I am now honored to call husband, Steve was one of my groomsmen in our wedding. He and a couple other guys had made t-shirts that read “KELLY P BROKE MY HEART” and revealed said t-shirts while singing “You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’.” Always making me laugh. A good friend.

Not long after I was married, life happened. You know – “life”? Things happened, decisions were made, words were said, offenses were taken . . . that kind of “life.” The details are not important, but Steve and I lost contact for a while. The offense wasn’t even really mine to take. But I took it. And I held it. And it grew and encircled me like an impenetrable wall.

Unforgiveness, Obedience, and Freedom

This next part is not really about Steve. It is about unforgiveness, obedience, and freedom. Unforgiveness is a vile thing. It prevents you from seeing anything good in the person. I have heard it said that holding unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Part of me had died inside. This is getting kind of personal, so it is a little scary to even write it. But maybe someone reading this could relate. Maybe someone reading this needs to break free from the oppression of unforgiveness in their own life. That is why I share.

A couple years after Steve and I had lost contact, I attended a retreat. One of the sessions was about unforgiveness. As I listened I felt God tugging at my heart. I knew that it was time to deal with it. They invited anyone who needed extra prayer to stand up. I stood. I knew I wanted to let go of this unforgiveness that held me so tightly, but I didn’t know how.

A woman came and prayed for me – nothing.

I prayed – nothing.

We stood there together in silence for a moment, and then the woman said, “I think you need to take a step forward. I mean physically step forward right now.”

Ok, whatever. So, simply in obedience to what she said, I lifted my foot and took one step forward.

And then, it happened. As I stepped forward, I physically felt like I was stepping out of a shell that had encased me. I physically felt it! And it was as if that shell still hovered in the air just behind me. Then suddenly SPLAT! It was as if it all crashed to the ground and disappeared. And I was free. The unforgiveness was gone. I felt no resentment, no bitterness, nothing.

I believe something spiritual happened at that moment. Jesus said he came to set the prisoners free. I had been a prisoner to my own unforgiveness. Jesus opened the door to my cell that day, and invited me to take a step out into the fresh air.

Jesus is in the business of resurrection and restoration. However, if we stay in our prison of unforgiveness, we choose death over life. But just as Jesus called, “Lazarus, come out!”, he calls us out of our tomb of bitterness. It might not be instantaneous. I’m not sure Lazarus was ready to run a marathon when he hobbled out of the tomb with his death clothes still hanging from him. But Jesus had brought life out of a dead situation. He can do that in your life and my life if we are willing to take a step towards forgiveness.

A funny thing happens when you forgive. It opens up the possibility of reconciliation. It allows for a spark of hope. And reconciliation did happen. Now Steve and I have reconnected. I love to see him and his wife and his children. He is still kind, and he is still funny. He has been known to text my husband on my birthday and say “Your wife is old!” He just can’t let it go that I am 4 months older than him. We do not spend a lot of time together, but I am so thankful to call him friend.

robin-818126_1280The Boy With the Robin Tattoo

This past year my friend went through the hardest thing he has ever faced. His mom, his sweet robin who inspired his tattoo almost 20 years ago, passed away after a courageous fight with cancer. She was caring and she was beautiful and she had a smile that went on for days. She had a fierce love for her husband, kids, and grandkids and was adored by them in return.

She always made me feel like I was special. I guess she made a lot of people feel that they were special because I have never seen a funeral like hers. Five hundred people came to the visitation, all lined up waiting to give their love to her husband and family. In the midst of those hundreds of people stood the kind and funny boy with the robin tattoo. I felt my heart break again because of him. I did not want him to go through that pain. Pain of losing his mom. Pain that I know he still feels. How could he not? So I turn my heartache into prayers. Lord, give him strength. Give him peace. Help him through the hard moments. Give him joy with his family. And most of all, assure him of the hope of Your resurrection and promise of heaven.

I leave you not with my words, but with a scripture. May you find hope in this promise.

1 Peter 1:3-9 MSG
What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole.

I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.

 

 

35 Comments

  1. Beautiful!!

  2. Awaiting moderation

    You’ve made your point!
    https://www.interlandchemie.com/
    best online canadian pharcharmy
    canadian pharmacy online
    online pharmacy
    canada pharmaceutical online ordering

  3. Awaiting moderation

    Thank you, Useful information!
    https://www.lunarciel.com/
    canadapharmacyonline com
    canadian drugs
    canada pharmacy online no script
    canada pharmacy online

  4. Awaiting moderation

    Cheers. Quite a lot of write ups.

    https://www.visitwaushara.com/
    canada drugs pharmacy
    canada pharmaceutical online ordering
    online pharmacies
    canada drugs

  5. Awaiting moderation

    You actually expressed it effectively!
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    rx price comparison
    canadian pharmacy
    online pharmacy without a prescription
    canadian pharmacy

  6. Awaiting moderation

    Whoa many of excellent tips!
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    overseas pharmacies
    canadianpharmacy
    get prescription online
    online pharmacies of canada

  7. Awaiting moderation

    Cheers! I value it!
    https://www.visitwaushara.com/
    canadian pharmacy no prescription needed
    canada pharmacy online
    king pharmacy
    global pharmacy canada

  8. Awaiting moderation

    Appreciate it! A lot of postings.

    https://www.interlandchemie.com/
    canadadrugs.com pharmacy
    canada pharmacy
    discount prescription drugs online
    aarp approved canadian online pharmacies

  9. Awaiting moderation

    Nicely put. Thank you.
    https://www.lunarciel.com/
    canadian mail order pharmacies
    northwest pharmacy
    buy drugs online
    canadian pharmaceuticals online

  10. Awaiting moderation

    Really a good deal of helpful info.
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    canadian family pharmacy
    canadian pharcharmy
    no prior prescription required pharmacy
    canadian online pharmacies

  11. Awaiting moderation

    You actually explained that adequately.
    https://www.waltcoexpress.com/
    pharmacy cost comparison
    canada pharmacy online
    pharmacy prices
    canada online pharmacies

  12. Awaiting moderation

    Beneficial knowledge. Many thanks!
    https://www.interlandchemie.com/
    pharmacy tech
    canadian pharmacies online
    costco pharmacy pricing
    canadianpharmacy

  13. Awaiting moderation

    You reported it really well!
    https://www.waltcoexpress.com/
    northwest pharmacy canada
    canadian pharmacies without an rx
    canadian online pharmacy
    canada drug

  14. Awaiting moderation

    Good posts. Kudos!
    https://www.lunarciel.com/
    pharmacies near me
    canadian viagra
    canada pharmacies online
    london drugs canada

  15. Awaiting moderation

    Many thanks! A good amount of facts!

    https://www.lunarciel.com/
    canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
    canadian online pharmacy
    pharmacy cost comparison
    canada pharmacy

  16. Awaiting moderation

    You’ve made the point.
    https://www.lunarciel.com/
    canada drug pharmacy
    trust pharmacy canada
    mexican pharmacy online
    canada online pharmacies

  17. Awaiting moderation

    Incredible many of very good tips.
    https://www.lunarciel.com/
    canadian viagra
    trust pharmacy canada
    canada drugs pharmacy
    northwest pharmacy

  18. Awaiting moderation

    Wow quite a lot of amazing info!
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    canadian pharmacy 365
    canada drug
    canadian pharmacy reviews
    mexican pharmacies shipping to usa

  19. Awaiting moderation

    Thanks a lot, Great information!
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    canadian drug store
    canadian viagra
    online pharmacy canada
    canadian pharmacies-24h

  20. Awaiting moderation

    Kudos! Ample info.

    https://www.waltcoexpress.com/
    canadian pharmacy
    northwest pharmacy
    prescription price comparison
    canadian online pharmacy

  21. Awaiting moderation

    Nicely put, With thanks.
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    canadian pharmacies
    london drugs canada
    discount prescription drug
    top rated canadian pharmacies online

  22. Awaiting moderation

    Perfectly voiced indeed. !
    https://www.visitwaushara.com/
    canadian drugs
    canadian drugs
    pain meds online without doctor prescription
    canadianpharmacy

  23. Awaiting moderation

    You said it nicely..
    https://www.interlandchemie.com/
    canadian pharmacies online
    canadian pharmacies that ship to us
    mexican online pharmacies
    north west pharmacy canada

  24. Awaiting moderation

    You actually mentioned it perfectly.
    https://www.lunarciel.com/
    canadian prescriptions
    canadian pharmacies online
    best online pharmacies canada
    canadian pharmacies-24h

  25. Awaiting moderation

    Point certainly regarded!.
    https://www.interlandchemie.com/
    prescription drugs without prior prescription
    canada pharmacy
    canadapharmacyonline com
    north west pharmacy canada

  26. Awaiting moderation

    Truly a lot of awesome material!
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    the canadian pharmacy
    canadian cialis
    mexican pharmacy online medications
    canada pharmaceuticals online

  27. Awaiting moderation

    Thanks, Ample forum posts.

    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    mexican pharmacy online
    canada drugs
    buy cialis
    top rated canadian pharmacies online

  28. Awaiting moderation

    Incredible a lot of excellent tips.
    https://www.dunamisproductions.com/
    cialis online
    canadian pharmacy online
    prescription price comparison
    mexican pharmacies shipping to usa

  29. Awaiting moderation

    Useful material. Thanks!
    https://www.waltcoexpress.com/
    international pharmacy
    canadian online pharmacy
    canadian rx pharmacy online
    aarp approved canadian online pharmacies

  30. Awaiting moderation

    You suggested this wonderfully!
    https://www.visitwaushara.com/
    the canadian pharmacy
    canadian pharmacies that ship to us
    canada drug
    canadian pharcharmy

  31. Awaiting moderation

    Thank you, A lot of data.

    http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
    canadian rx pharmacy online
    northwest pharmacy
    costco pharmacy pricing
    north west pharmacy canada

  32. Awaiting moderation

    You said this really well.
    http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
    canada drug
    canada drugs
    mail order pharmacies
    canada pharmacy

  33. Awaiting moderation

    You said it nicely.!
    http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
    online canadian pharmacy
    canadian pharmacies that ship to us
    cheap prescription drugs
    canadian viagra

  34. Awaiting moderation

    You actually expressed that effectively!
    http://talahicc.com/
    buy prescription drugs online
    canadian pharmacies
    canadian pharmacies top best
    canadian pharmacies-24h

  35. Awaiting moderation

    You said it nicely..
    http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
    prescription online
    canadian cialis
    canadian rx pharmacy online
    canadian pharmacies that ship to us

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*